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Time To Impress

August 5, 2012

You’d like to order a bottle of our finest House wine? Uh, earth to cheap ass, there’s no such thing as a fine house wine. House= Cheap.

“Can I order a glass of your house red?” I would love to replace the word “House” with the word “Cheap” then we can see how cool you look in front of your date.

From → Lame "Guests"

21 Comments
  1. It would be fun to replace “glass” or “bottle” with “box,” too. (Those bottles in the picture are great. )

  2. Jeni Johnson permalink

    It’s common in Sicily to order house wine…..no materr how cheap it’s Sicilian and its delicious and cheap! 🙂

  3. minnesotatransplant permalink

    I appreciate your sense of humor, and I wanted you to know you inspire me. http://minnesotatransplant.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/inspiration-comes-in-many-forms/

  4. Margy Rydzynski permalink

    Reblogged this on Collectables and commented:
    I’ve always wondered about that.

  5. Teresa Cleveland Wendel permalink

    Note to self: Next time ask for a glass of cheap red wine instead of the house red :o)

  6. I’m not too proud for cheap wine! : )

  7. I love the blog. It makes me laugh. Being from the other side of the kitchen door, I do often have a different perspective on the stuff that irks you. The fault for ‘house’ being = ‘cheap’ is the restaurants not the customers. It is a reflection on how the restaurant thinks of it’s own house. The customer only gets involved when they think that they like the place and decide to order the recommended wine.

    In restaurants all across Europe, the house wine is far from poor. It is crud in many too.

    Just sayin…
    Best,
    Conor

    • I totally agree with you about it being up to the restaurant to choose to what kind of wine they want to represent their ‘House’. However, this rant comes from working at several restaurants that don’t even have a house wine to offer. All too often people would order a glass of the house wine, and when I would tell them we do not carry a house wine, at least 80-90 percent of them would say just give me whatever is the cheapest or least expensive. So it seems that in the minds of several people, House= Cheap.

      • It has become how it is in so many restaurants and so many cultures. However, it had to start with the restaurant, not the customer. Give me good and cheap any day.
        Best,
        Conor

  8. This is hysterical. I actually enjoy finding wines with offbeat names, and I keep the bottles on display in my home as a conversation piece. I have Ass Kisser and Mad Housewife, among several others, but I am going to have to find one of the ones pictured. Epic!

  9. Jen’s post reminds me that I once bought a case fo Chateau Bastard – It was not cheap. It was excellent. Perhaps you could use it as your house wine?
    Best,
    Conor

  10. House Wine is not a bad choice for 90% of us as we cannot tell the difference. But I think the high percentage of people asking for the cheap stuff is due to the overwhelmingly high mark-up that is placed on a bottle. You know buy it for $20 yourself or pay $80 at the restaurant. I love wine cheap or exquisite. It’s the next day that is sometimes not so fun. Cheers.

  11. I’m dense about wine. So, it’s always House wine for me! At least it costs less.

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