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Pretend You’re My Friend

July 19, 2012

I’m so happy that I got to sing Happy Birthday to you because I genuinely care about you.   

I’m not your friend and you are not my friend. I have better things to do than sing Crappy Birthday to you.

From → Lame "Guests"

25 Comments
  1. lol, I know this far too well being a waitress!you are hilarious!

  2. …who ever wants the humiliation of being sung to anyway – torture all round

  3. Jeni Johnson permalink

    Hahahahahahaha! Why do I feel so honored? 🙂

  4. I think that there should be a rule that if you are over the age of 12 people should not sing happy birthday to you. They can buy you a drink if they want to celebrate.

    • Yes! Thank you! I couldnt agree more. Yes, buy me a beer then I’d love to celebrate your birthday. Hahaha

  5. jojowah permalink

    Ha! I always wonder what the waiters are thinking about singing happy birthday to customers. Thanks for the follow!

  6. Great post. 😉 It’s the worst at my old job…there are usually about 5 or more b-day people, and everyone always tries saying everybody’s name as quickly as possible. Timing sucks, it never works!

    • Sounds like Hell having to sing that much. I always got a kick out of how awful it sounds. The slow version of Happy Birthday is the best. It sounds so bad!!

  7. We refuse to sing at my restaurant, and when customers ask me to I just tell them, hey we really don’t want to ruin your birthday, so no we wont sing. Its the best part of the day 😀

  8. Greg permalink

    Apparentley you have never heard me sing before. I am happy that you are celebrating your birthday with us but we didn’t invite you so why do you think we owe you a song and a free dessert?

  9. missgrill permalink

    lol. this was my biggest nightmare for too many years. like seriously. worst is the 99.9% of the time the 15 friends and family at the table don’t join in. like wtf, you are the b-day idiots closest friends and you are watching us fumble through the song like we are a flipping dinner theatre!!

    • HAHAHA!! You’re right, the other people never really do sing. They just sit there and stare as if they dont know the words or something. Classic.

  10. I hate random people singing happy birthday to me. Just like I hate a waiters life story, I tip more the less I have to talk.

  11. I REAAALLY wish restaurants would stop even offering this. I would be okay if I never got serenaded by “Happy Bday” again, especially from people I don’t know.

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