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Cup of Joe

July 7, 2012

Customer: Can I have a cup of decaf?

Server:  (Server grabs decaf and brings it to table) Here’s your decaf.

Customer: This is decaf, right?

Server: No, that’s actually a ribeye steak in your cup. I was just saying that it’s decaf because I have nothing better to do.

If you’re so paranoid that you might be getting a regular cup of coffee, don’t order one. Maybe you can be like one of those weird people who orders hot water to drink. What’s the deal with that anyway?

From → Lame "Guests"

  1. I usually respond with “You’ll know if its decaf or not around 4:30am.”

  2. Vanessa permalink

    AS far as the hot water, they bring in there own tea bags. “Can I have hot water with lemons?” Sure, and F#ck you, you cheap bastard.

  3. When the waitress asks me if I want decaf, my automatic response is “Hi-Test for me, thanks!” (you will either get this joke or not) but seriously, why even bother with coffee if its decaf?
    Thanks for visiting me today,
    ~ Lynda

  4. Greg permalink

    Is this Decaf? Yes it is and no I am not giving you my phone number so you can call me later if you are awake. I hope you are awake thinking about giving me a hard time about you not making it on time to get the earlybird and begging me for a free cup of Decaf to make up for the fact that you were not on time for the earlybird.

  5. Ahahaha!! The phone number thing. So funny.

  6. It is common in China and a few other places… in place of cold ice water some people like warm or hot water to drink to warm up in colder months. I live in China as an expat and was surprised a few times when eating out and was given a hot cup of water…

    • Ahh, thanks for the info travelbugs. It just seems like there are better options for a drink than plain ‘ol hot water. Im assuming its a digestive thing.

  7. This one made me LOL! I spent 1/2 the morning reading through some of your interesting encounters.Thanks for all the hilarious posts.
    I’m glad to welcome you aboard my Make Shoppe! Although I’m nowhere near as funny as you are, I hope to keep you intrigued. 🙂


  8. What’s wrong with hot water? I love the taste,I know weird.I also like vodka, watermelon , lime- you like what you like.
    I got hot water and lemon automatically in Paris and been hooked since, it is so refreshing first thing

    • Nothing wrong with it. It just seems like there are better options for the taste buds than hot water. Another thing that gets me is when people order hot water or coffee when its boiling hot and they are sitting outside. Why oh why? But youre absolutely right, you like what you like.

  9. Hot water and lemon is a healthy drink to keep your body in an alkaline state – it’s good tasting too!

  10. I do order decaf (caffeine and I do not get along, no matter the time of day), but I trust that my server or barista will get it right. You make a good point — if I’m that worried, I shouldn’t order any. I’ve been served caffeine by mistake a handful of times, and it succckkks! But that’s the risk I take. I was a barista for years and I know, mistakes happen..

  11. Drinking hot water? Yes, certainly in Taiwan. Hot drinks during those hot summer days and nights (and everything in between) somehow cools. I still do it sometimes, especially this summer. 😉
    Oh, and thanks for the follow!

  12. Just reply : “of course it’s decaf” with a slight grin, wink & then laugh like a 1920’s silent movie villain as you walk away!

  13. What’s even more tragic is when the opposite happens…you order (and desperately crave) a cup of regular coffee, and the lightheaded barista gives you a decaf. Half the taste, none of the afterglow.

  14. Pregnant and breastfeeding women can’t have (much) caffeine. I’ve been drinking decaf for the last two years for these reasons and I’m glad it does exist. What would I drink otherwise? A cup of hot water? 😉
    I don’t bother the barista or waiter with it though. I order a cup of decaf’ and I expect I’ll get served a cup of decaf’. As someone already said, mistakes do happen. It’s not the end of the world… unless you’re very allergic. Do caffeine allergies even exist?

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