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The phrase “The customer’s always right” was most likely coined by some arrogant prick who believes that the world revolves around him, and uses that phrase to hide the fact that he is actually a self centered Douche Bag .

After having worked several years in the service industry, I’ve come to the conclusion that the customer is always wrong.  What follows is a series of events that I’ve encountered time and again, which have led me to that conclusion and have ultimately inspired me to write this blog.

So actually, I’d like to thank the fat lady who brought in McDonalds and her 5 kids to sit at my table only to order a salad. Thank you Canadian family for your 2 dollar tip on a 40 dollar tab, Eh!!  Thank you, Mr. Complaining Romantic for not making reservations on Valentines Day, and thank you Mr. Customer’s always right, for creating a slogan for the cheap, the spoiled, and the needy. . . . . . . . . .Now shoot yourself.

200 Comments
  1. javaj240 permalink

    Love your blog… you are far more pithy than I am!

  2. billy bob thornton permalink

    Who the hell do you think you are you wise as* motherfu**er!!!! Just because you get a legit reason to wear an apron makes you think you can talk about your clientele like this?? I hope you are fired for this little caper and end up working at McDonald’s in Fresno California. You are paid to put up with us and our own. If that is a problem, then call the manager and have him throw us out!! Just because we want something a little special makes us all whiners!!!? You arrogant little pri**! I promise to pay 5% for the next year just because of this “Poor Little Me” Prattle. IN FU**ING NICKELS!!!! If you don’t like serving, why do it? It is called service staff for a reason. You are there to serve us. Serve us = service. Duh! Hellllllo!!! You are probably a teacher who works on the weekends for extra money or something lame like that. Pithy my ass!! Get a fu**ing life!

    • Wow billy bob, if this is really you. There is a flip side to the clientele in the service industry. There are decent people out there who tip well, have manners and patience. I just had my manager throw out a person who used strong profanity towards me at my place of employment. Sound familiar? What type of patron are you? I DARE you to work a shift with me one night. We may land on a great movie idea together. Servers are to serve food and give you information about the menu. Your butler is the one you pay to verbally abuse. You need to get a LIFE!

    • I do hope you were trying to be ironic and it somehow came out wrong. Otherwise, your wisdom about the world and the people in it could be measured in an almost empty thimble.

    • Oh dearie me. Are you teething? That can be a difficult time.

      Or maybe you fell and grazed your knee.

      Have a nice day

  3. Hey Billy Bob, Im glad you’ve managed to find time to read my “prattle” inbetween shooting movie scenes. This site is especially geared towards persons like yourself. I look forward to hearing from you again, so if you could please click the follow button on the top left part of the screen, that will insure that we stay in contact :0)

  4. Review Me Vee permalink

    Love this! Thanks for the follow lairbooo! :)

  5. slothbag permalink

    My favorite is when kids are running around the restaurant like its a god damn pizza parlor. Hey kids, I’m carrying a pot of hot coffee! Do you think that running between my legs might not be a good idea for you? The best is when you spill some scolding hot coffee on them and they scream in pain. Sure I feel bad for the kids, because really it isn’t their fault. But then here comes the pseudo-parents all upset and angry at me! Oh I see, now you are their parents, whereas before, I and the rest of the restaurant was just a host for a daycare center while your friends and you decide to get drunk and ignore your children. Can’t you just do what other negligent parents do and let your kids play with your phones or ipads? People will never cease to amaze me.

  6. I love you man… lol… yrs in the biz and got the hell out. Kitchen Manager for ego-maniac owners to owning my own coffee bar. Your right, I say let them all eat TocoBell. MY fave is ” If I yell louder I’ll get what I want!” (4 free)

    • Thanks Chris. Let them eat Taco Bell indeed!! I agree, the yelling trick seems to be a favorite for people.

  7. Thanks for stopping by and liking my post (and following)! I swear I wasn’t trying to give the staff (the restaurant was predominately self-serve) a hard time with the black cardamom that was disguised as a roach…

    Anyway, I skimmed through your blog and though I understand what I signed up for when I was a hostess and waitress full-time for 6 months (translation: I lived there), there are moments where you wish your customer didn’t forget their brain in the car. T___T

    I look forward to reading more! :)

    • Thanks Airiseu. Unfortunately, Ive had too many moments where the customers have left their brain in the car!!

      • And I look forward to hearing your recounts of these brainless customers. :)

  8. mcowser permalink

    There is a club or restaruant somewhere that the staff is allowed to talk to the customer anyway and say anything they like. The customer knows before they go in. Wouldn’t it be cool to work there at least one night a week just to let off some steam?

    • Yes!! I think its called Dicks last resort. They throw napkins at you and give you attitude. I think I need to work there!!!

  9. We Canadians, up here, typically tip at least 15%; that family was esp. cheap…

    Yes, we’re not as generous as you Americans, who tip 20-25% typically, but we have an excuse, up here: more of our income is stolen in taxes.

    You might like waiter and cultural observer blogger Gucci Little Piggy.

    http://glpiggy.net/

    • Thanks for the link Will. I’ll check it out!

    • Will, as an American who now lives permanently in Canada, the reason you guys tip less isn’t because it is stolen in taxes (at least not fully). The reason is that Canadian servers are payed regular minimum wage at least. The patrons are not socially obliged to support them. I don’t feel bad leaving a shitty tip for shitty service in Canada.
      If you do that in America, you could be starving somebody and their kids. By law, American servers are usually paid much less than minimum wage because of the excuse that they get tips. When I was a server, I made $2.42 an hour. (Didn’t even cover my gas to get to work.)
      It’s outrageous and I will never do that again, but the injustice still makes me mad.

  10. Jeni Johnson permalink

    Loved every post…teach me wise one of restaurant etiquette…:)

  11. I am a nurse… totally get your rants! thanks for making me laugh! Thanks for following my blog too!

  12. Hello! Just wanted to stop by and thanks for checking out my blog. Your blog makes me laugh because its what everything is thinking, but are just too afraid to say.

  13. I like this, I’m coming back for another look when I’ve more time and less wine. cheers for visiting mine.

  14. Thanks for liking and following! Loved your intro: will definitely read about your experiences.

  15. I love the blog! This is absolutely brilliant and hilarious (though kind of sad at the same time since this is all true…). I was just talking about that phrase “the customer is always right” and how it leads to abuse towards workers in the service industry who have to deal with ridiculous people.

    • Absolutely Trokspot. The person who came up with “the customer is always right” obviously was a customer and not someone in customer service. Actually, it was probably some crappy owner of a business who used that phrase to lure needy and annoying people into his shop, not giving a second thought about the headaches his employees would have to endure, or the unfortunate chain reaction it would have on other employees working in businesses owned by more deush bags who’ve adopted the same idea that the customer is always right. Sorry, I went on a rant there.

  16. Hehehe…. I worked as a server for over 20 years, I didn’t have that many bad customers, but when they are it’s insufferable. Your rants were funny. I worked in Los Angeles, I would write a blog on celebrities I served,and how they tipped. lol

    Thanks for coming by my blog and I look forward to reading yours.

    ” self centered Douche Bag.’ lol

    • Thanks Blue. I would like to see the blog on what celebrities tip. So many of them are cheapies!!

    • mcowser permalink

      Talking about tight celebrities, I was bartending at a horse racetrack in a fairly high end restaurant. Many of our local celebrities would frequent the establishment. I use the term celebrities loosely. They were on our local tv channels such as the news and that sort of thing. Several times I watched one of these guys walk around to a few tables and stuff his pockets full of sugar packets. He never failed to come up to the bar and ask me to add more liquor to his drink and yes you guessed it, he never ever tipped me a dime. I never had any idea what the sugar packet thing was about.

  17. I’ve always hated that phrase. I never worked in the food industry, but I have worked in customer service and retail in the past, and it’s pretty much the same – some people use that as an excuse to behave however they like.

    Thanks for stopping by and following my blog :-)

  18. Thanks for following my blog! Love your blog, very funny, although I am one of those restaurant customers who usually is right ;-) Like the other day at a two-star restaurant when they used a rosemary sprig to drizzle oil on a dish and insisted it was thyme…

    I am manager of a team of internal management consultants (internal means that we work inside our own organization and thus have a different relatioship to our clients than an external consultancy firm would) and I’m having a hard time teaching my team members that the client is not always right, that they don’t always know what’s good for them.

    Same with beef. If someone eats at my house, the beef will be served medium rare. You don’t like? Well I’m not going to serve beef that’s been cooked to death, just give it a try.

    • Hey Stefan, thanks for following me! I always make it a point to know what I am serving because it saves me any possible embarrassment. You never know when you might be serving a real foodie or sommelier. You are absolutely right about the beef!! People have no idea about so many things. “I’d like to order the chateau brion with a side of ketchup” – This happens!

  19. I worked at a bar in South Louisiana. We had a rule list posted on the wall and the number one rule was, The customer is always right until after around 10:00 pm.

  20. What a great blog. I waitressed for many years, and even though it was a long time ago, I still have dreams of some of the horrors! Thanks for the follow on my blog. I look forward to reading more of your entries.

  21. Ana Bella permalink

    HAHAHA, you say things most people in the restaurant business always talk about behind close doors but never saying out loud to the public! People who are not in this industry may find it offensive but I totally understand where you are coming from!

    Thanks for visiting and following my lil blog! :)

    • Thank you Ana Bella. Im glad you understand where Im coming from. I dont have to bite my tongue here. Its great!!

  22. Oh, man, thanks for the follow–I hereby totally follow you back! I LOVE a good restaurant or service industry horror story. You had me at your rejection of the old’ “customer is always right” BS.

  23. Not so much a question of who are worse, staff or customers, there just seem to be a lot of jerks around today on both sides of the counter. Luckily, there are still some really great people out there, too, who can make up for all the idiots that would otherwise ruin your day! If only there were more of them….

    • Jerks indeed!! I absolutely agree with you about there being great people too. Those are the ones that keep me going back for more. This site is all about the idiots. There are just so many!! :)

  24. Ten permalink

    Hahaha. Awesome. Thanks for the follow. I will make sure I continue to tip 20%+.

  25. Thank you for visiting my blog and I love your blog, I need to get back to my translation work, but you are just too darn funny and so honest. Love it!

  26. Wow, I’ve never come across a rant blog before – quite entertaining! Most of my blogosphere consists of artists and poets who tend to be somewhat mellow and laid back and generally can’t afford to eat out. My sons, however, both work in the restaurant business as servers and inform me that abuse often comes as much from the managerial and kitchen staff as from the customers. Thank you for visiting and Following art rat cafe – I am honoured and hope you understand that a very small portion of my posts are concerned with food…

  27. workingmomshuffle permalink

    This is hysterical. Now I don’t feel so bad about ranting about my students. Anyone who ever said that there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied. Fabulous rants.

  28. Thanks for being our first follower. I’ve worked in the food service business a while too and reading your posts and everything has me cracking up. Customers are the same everywhere it seems. I hate when we seat them at a table and they insist on moving to a booth. Like c’mon guys you dont have a booth installed in your house, stay where we put you! Thanks again, I can’t wait to read more hilarious and very truthful posts.

  29. I always felt that the bosses were just as bad as the customers – I had one manager come in and place a sign in the window for drinks that we didn’t even stock. When I pointed this out she just shrugged and said ‘yeah it’s ok, leave the sign there’. then of course we had a bunch of customers ask for it…stuff like this was constantly happening in my workplace, so glad I’m not there anymore!

  30. catstache permalink

    Thankyou for following my blog! I can tell from this first i am reading of yours that i am going to love your blog. I’ve never been a waitress but have worked in customer service for years now and what you say really resonates with me. Keep up the good work and i hope the billy bobs of the blogging world give you more of a laugh then anything else :D

  31. This is amazeballs. I should have chronicled and written the ‘fascinating’ encounters I had when I was in the service industry! Too bad, I gave up on it and I don’t give a damn. :D

    • Thanks! I have many “Facinating” tales to share here. The service industry is a great thing to leave behind you :)

  32. I waitressed for about 1 month–you’re very brave and your posts are hysterical!

  33. I waitressed for about a month when I was in college. You’re very brave & hysterical!

  34. I worked in retail for a while as a sales assistant. Customers suck.

  35. Totally love your blogg, I hope you never run out of “inspiration” aka shitty costumers, if it’s the price to pay to read your intellectual snippets then it’s a price I’ll payy :D
    With a bigger tip of course loooool

    • Thank you. I have too much insperation haha. But if you have any you’d like to share with me, please let me know!

  36. Sinclair 3168 permalink

    This is hilarious… I completely empathise. I also experienced many a twat in my time working in that industry, it takes a spine of steel to keep smiling :) Hooray to blogs like this.

  37. I’ve worked in retail for over 23 years (and I bussed tables for a few months, years before)

    A waiter once told me, “I’m sorry that I totally screwed up your order, sir. You don’t have to leave me a tip.”

    I left a $20 bill on his table. :D (for not blaming the kitchen!)

  38. mcowser permalink

    This reminds me of a blog article I once wrote titled “Shopping With Zombies”. It is about the strange spell that seems to consume people while shopping in Walmart. They turn into inconsiderate idiots.

    • Walmart is zombie heaven. If you could just video everyone in there and then mute the sound, you’d have zombie shoppers. Thats pretty funny mcowser. I’ll have to check that article out.

  39. mcowser permalink

    Yes, and 5 minutes for some.

  40. i’m HOOKED!!! thanks for the laughs, Ross.

  41. Are you by chance related To Gordon? Just wondering. With the attitude you portray against customers I must say you and I would probably get along well. I take issue with lazy, non producing moochers who think those of us who actually earn a paycheck owe them something. No, I don’t owe those lazy pathetic fucks anything but a bitch slap across their ugly faces for causing my taxes to sky rocket.
    I like your blog. Now grow some nads and tell how you really feel!

    • OK, One of the best comments I’ve had on here. I’m glad you understand my gripe with the “non producing moochers” Ha!! I love it.

  42. The Billy Bob comment was just precious! He managed to insult the teachers, McDonalds Fresno, not to mention people in the restaurant industry. I think your blog is just spot on. Thanks for dropping by and following my blog.

  43. Funny stuff. I worked as a waitress for two weeks. As a result, I try to tip well. Many years later, I am a teacher. Lots of the snark in what I write falls under the umbrella of “If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.” Thanks for the follow!

  44. Dear Ross, You’re rude and irreverent, and I’ve never had so much fun! Thanks for reading my blog and following. I think the Billy Bob comment and the following replies were what got me hooked.

  45. mcowser permalink

    I was in a strange frame of mind that day. Well, hell, I’m pretty much always in that frame of mind. I put is on my blog even though it doesn’t have anything to do with bartending.

  46. I kinda mentioned you (in a totally good way) in my post todayy, hope you don’t mind (y)

  47. Great blog! 22 years in customer services myself, and I can empathise with ALL of these! :)

  48. Are you like a chef (: I love to cook and maybe one day :)

    Anyway cool blog!

  49. i agree with you ….i work in the international courier industry and am a south african customs expert……which is almost like a lawyer in a particular section of the constitution….sec 91 of the customs and excise act of 1964 to be precise……and my clients are 99% of the time wrong…………now you try and explain sec 84(1) subsection b to a raving ranting spoilt halfwit………fick em all………..

    • i want my pair of socks NOW…. BOOHOO HOO……but sir there is a typhoon in the soutyh china sea and no flights have taken off from hong kong for two days…………..I DONT CARE I WANT MY SOCKS NOW…………..uh huh………fick you.

  50. Anonymous permalink

    Hi Ross,
    I was just revisiting your blog because you apparently liked my post and followed me. I kindly suggest you to stop liking posts that you haven’t read and following random people just so they can visit your blog back and increase your stats. I can tell that you just click the like buttons on all the posts that were tagged restaurants or cooking. I highly suggest you read this post made by another blogger http://alateralplunge.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/dear-fellow-bloggers/

    Just to comment on your blog since I’ve read several posts here and there, I understand that you have lots to complain about as a restaurant server. But I think you are getting bit offensive here. There are people who are not rich enough to pay tips generously. Why can’t you be more kind to poor people. Are you really that better than them? People can double check their orders to make sure there are no troubles later, people can make silly mistakes by asking what size the 16″ pizza is. I don’t like how you belittle them and make fun of their stories in public. Some comments included offensive swear words pointing those people out. I felt really uncomfortable reading some of your blogs. I know that you are just trying to make jokes and laugh it out but just think once more before you post some of these things.

    • First off, thanks for taking the time to read my blog I really appreciate it. Im sorry I liked your post and followed you without really reading your post. Are you the blog police? Secondly, people who are not rich enough to pay tips generously shouldnt be eating out. If so, they should stick to eating at Taco Bell or McDonalds where there isnt a server for them to tip. Also, not tipping isnt something just poor people do, there are a lot of rich penny pinchers out there as well. Being poor has nothing to do with it. There are unwritten rules to eating out that a lot of people are not aware of. Now thats where I come in. To inform the uninformed. I know people make silly mistakes because I am always there to correct them. If youre offended by some of the comments with swear words, its only because I dont have to bite my tongue here as I would have to at a restaurant. Im not getting any tips from you here, so I dont have to. As for you feeling really uncomfortable about reading some of my blogs, a large part of me cant help but feel a sense of accomplishment over a job well done, because as I said earlier, Im here to inform the unimformed.

      • Anonymous permalink

        It’s not like they didn’t pay the cost of food. Nobody would pay you any tips if they knew what you were thinking or that you were judging them every second. I never asked you to follow my tips, as this is a free space of yours to write whatever you would like and express. But I have to tell ya, you should be feeling pretty sad for having to listen to somebody much younger than you to grow up. It feels like talking to a wall. How do you feel a sense of accomplishment over upsetting people for rude things you have said? Honestly, I don’t think you would ever change seeing your attitude right now but I hope that you just realize there are people like me, actually quite a lot of people like me, wishing it would be better and more enjoyable if you censored things a little and be less pessimistic. I obviously have no idea what you go through on daily basis as I have only ever worked at a fast food restaurant for part time job. Even then I get bad customers once in a while. But you have to just accept that there are bad customers in this world. I just don’t want you to be another bad person that spreads hatred like one of them. Posting hate and humiliating them only makes you the same person.

      • Really? You can pay the cost of the food when you go to the grocery store or at a fast food place. When your dining out, its the cost of food, the servers tips, and possibly the valet. People pay me tips because I dont tell them what I am really thinking. Thats why I created this blog here. So I can do just that. You say its like talking to wall, but you’ve come to talk to the wall 2 times now. The only censorship I can provide for you is to tell you to try and stop reading my stuff. Im sorry if you thought Restaurant Bastards was going to be filled with flowers and rainbows.

    • slothbag permalink

      Tip, is actually an acronym….To Insure Proper Service. So Anonymous, there are rules about going to a restaurant and eating out where somebody serves you. In previous history people actually tipped first, to ensure they get taken care of. If that were the case now, people like Ross wouldn’t even have a blog to write. When you are a server, you take everybody at face value in the beginning, then they make themselves out to be idiots and it has little to do with tipping. Besides, what a boring blog this would be if he just talked about all the wonderful people he met along the way. Your over-sensitive attitude should be left to forums or blogs that just tell knock-knock jokes, but you would probably rather find a way to ‘censor’ this criticism and force everybody to be friends. I know it must be hard for you to have some sort of self-control and just not read the comments Ross writes if it is too much for you to take.

  51. onehotmess permalink

    I think some people go out to eat just so think they can boss somebody else around for 45 minutes for just the cost of a meal. Like your blog, very funny!

  52. Excuse me;may I butt in to something that does not involve me?You mean you started following me without really reading me?Damn and I thought you really liked me.No matter I just got another follower.In my prior (pre- retirement) life I was a chef/kitchen manager type.Naturally I did my time in the front of the house and I realized that I only have so much nice in me.I said years ago that if people knew what was said about them in a restaurant they would never go out to eat again.I really don’t get the point Anon is trying to make.I think your posts are funny and accurate.As far as the language you use he or she should spend some time in a kitchen while it is getting slammed;your vocabulary is tame by comparison.All I know is the inter net is not like Dodge City it IS big enough for both of you.

    • Yes! Thank you tj. Haha.I always make it a point to go back and read the sites that I follow. And yes, I am tame in comparison to the back of the house. The language back there would make anons head explode! However I have a feeling that he/she has no idea what back of the house even means.

  53. Hello :) I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog award ;) See here for details. Cheers! http://grapesgripesandgratitude.com/2012/07/29/one-lovely-blog-award/

  54. vanessa permalink

    there should should be a law that everyone has to be a server for at least 6 months and airlines give out a flyer to everyone who lives in a different country the rules of being a good customer..

  55. I love it! I worked as a bartender and had a fellow tell me, because I am a woman, that I would not be able to make him a decent drink. I bought him a Long Island Ice Tea and had him under the table on one drink! Did he tip me? No. But I did grab the twenty he dropped on the floor in his drunken stupor as he was leaving!

  56. I was a PROFESSIONAL waiter for 38 years–though I understand where you are coming from I disagree with quite a few of your posts–I think the main difference is that I loved my work while you don’t/didn’t seem to–we will see as we go along! :O)

  57. Great blog and very funny to read. Keep it up!

  58. Hello! I’ve nominated you for the versatile blogger award. Details below.

    http://dontquotelily.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/sometimes-i-wish-i-could-hug-you/

    Thanks!

  59. I know exactly how you feel. I used to work in retail and by far the worst thing about it was the customers, which is crap as they are the reason you have a job in the first place. Aside from that I really loved my job (I worked in shoe shop, apparently every girls’ dream job). But having said that, I think that having to deal with idiots on a daily basis for a long time, has made me a better customer, while also reducing my tolerance for stupidity.

  60. Excellent, I spent a lot of years in hospitality, some people’s behaviour can be truly unbelievable. I shall be returning here soon!

  61. Very angry. Love it!

  62. Awesome blog!!

  63. Hey Ross! You are running a great blog in here!
    Regards,
    -Naima.

  64. you’ve just been nominated for the Liebster Award cause I dig your blog! Instructions here: http://howtoonlinedate.wordpress.com/2012/08/07/thank-you-thank-you/

  65. realityenchanted permalink

    Hello! It’s funny over half of those clients know they re also service providers elsewhere. They should know how it feels.
    Over time, though, God has helped me treat rash clients with some patience. I try to speak politely; and I have gotten across to most of them, because they know not many service providers are that patient with them. They get to appreciate me more, eventually.
    But, it’s tough on d normal stressed-out service provider having another nagging client.

  66. Holy crap, I’m in love! I wish I had thought to blog about the useless pieces of crap that used to call themselves customers back when I was waiting tables, GOD! They were beautiful little slices of Americana! One excellent example: D.B. customer “We’ve got a huge problem, there’s cheese on this taco.” Coworker, “Sir, the war in Iraq: HUGE problem. Cheese on this here taco? Not so much.” F*cking priceless.

  67. Never laughed so hard. I have a long list of freaky customers’ requests (can you cook the lox, I didn’t realize it was raw) and complaints that I never published for fear of offending those customers who read my blog and who rave about our food and service. But now that I am leaving my job, you inspired me to dust them off. I am always amazed at how many idiots walk the planet

    • Tons of idiots walking the planet everyday and eating in restaurants. Cooked lox says it all haha.

  68. At first I didn’t understand why you were so mad at the customers. Right now (having experienced part time job at a fast food restaurant), I wish I could give you a high five. I hate bad customers. They ruin my day. Except for the time you said something about the decaf coffee. Some people are actually allergic to caffeinated coffees. To be honest, they shouldn’t be buying coffees from public restaurants at all if they are severely allergic.

  69. mcowser permalink

    We all feel your pain Ross. However, I am glad to say that after 15 years of bartending, the biggest majority of my customers were not idiots. I made some good money from the ones that weren’t. But, the ones that were idiots made me want to do bad things sometimes.

  70. this blog is great! I would never have found yours if you hadn’t. Happy to follow this, and be amused by your experience with dumbasses (they’re also my pet hate)

  71. I love your thoughts about the customers you come across! If only they put themselves in the customer representative’s shoes…

  72. Hi Ross. What a great idea for a blog! Many years ago, just after leaving Uni, I did early morning, breakfast, shift in a coffee bar just outside of London’s Victoria station. I met them all but formulated two forms of revenge: 1, heat the coffee to boiling point and watch the reaction as they tried to drink it fast; 2, put a squirt of orange concentrate in the coffee.

  73. hey waitress!! permalink

    Hey! I LOVE your blog! As a former waitress, I totally get it. You write the things we’re all thinking, even if we shouldn’t.

    • Thank you! Im glad you get it. I think I might’ve offended a few people out there. I can only assume that they have never worked in customer service before. Im glad you like it :0

  74. Good Stuff here! I live and work in Maui (a server as a 2nd job) and this blog gives me the giggles way down deep. Thanks for that! Keep up the fine service Mr Ramsey.

    Regards,

    – Ramsey

    http://www.iamaloha.me

    • Thanks Ramsey. Is that your first name? I worked on a cruise ship in HI for 2 years. Had a lot of great times and also accumulated a lot of stories for my blog!!

  75. Maybe you should work in Rome. Here the customer is rarely right. I love watching entitled tourists try to talk down to the locals. The locals give zero you know whats.

    Tipping culture in Europe completely different. I know when Europeans visit the States they have to be told to tip American style. It blows their minds. They don’t know that waiters in the States make less than minimum wage and the majority don’t have health insurance like waiters in Europe do through NHS.

  76. Thanks for showing the other side! I love that you don’t pull any punches.

  77. This is funny! I DO NOT miss waitressing one bit! Or all the bastards I used to wait on.

  78. oldsalt1942 permalink

    1) I grew up in the family’s restaurant. My dad always told us and the other help…”The customer may not always be right, but he’s ALWAYS the customer.”

    2) What’s the difference between a canoe and a Canadian at a restaurant? – Canoes tip.

    3) The problem with family restaurants is that families go to them.

  79. You have an interesting blog! Looking forward to taking a closer look around, so I can tell my kid – he is training to waitress / bartender!

  80. javaj240 permalink

    I nominated you for a “Tell Me About Yourself” award! Check it out here:

    http://wp.me/pwbMy-90

  81. I feel so neglected–don’t know how to get anyone to read my many blogs here let alone comment– what’s the secret???? LOL

    I won’t comment on any of the above because I was a professional waiter for 38 years from joints to 5 star restaurants–I may have had 1% of stiffs in all those years but most evenings I walked home with at least 18% of my sales after tipping out–and more in coffee shops! LOL

    • You seem like an upbeat, positive person Martin. Its refreshing. I sure wish I had your customers. Unfortunately, Ive had more than 1% of stiffs, and it wasnt because of the service. Some people just dont have/know good restaurant etiquette. It applies on both sides of the table.

  82. I’m having fun just reading your About Me and the comments in here. I have not been in the food service industry but worked for six years in a customer service heavy industry – sales and marketing. It is really a pain – Rule #1 The customer is always right if you are in the service side but people do enjoy it including me if I was the customer but some abuse it to some extent which I don’t do. I remember Rule #2 If the customer is wrong refer to Rule #1 which is a BS. There are also lots of crappy service out there so I don’t know who is worse. I’ll be following your blog for information and entertainment value.

  83. I’ve never worked in the restaurant industry but I’ve worked in general and the customer IS ALWAYS WRONG :D I’m looking very forward to your posts!!

    • Thank you. Im glad you agree. The customer really is always wrong!! Unless they tip you well and are nice. haha.

  84. i’ve worked in the food, retail and service industry for more than a decade and a half. So, i know how much of a pain in the ass it is. i try to tip well even if the service wasn’t great. and if the i will bitch about it, but usually trying to figure out why i’m getting crap service to begin. i’m pretty forgiving if the server is personally going through a bad time.

    i don’t bother with the customer is always right because it’s only a half truth. i’ve pretty much settled on this philosophy, “The customer comes first. Unless they’re a complete d-bag.” i don’t bother with the customer is always right because it makes no sense. i just treat them as well as i can and if they are still d-bags, like this blog, i will bitch about them as it is my given right to.

    Just my two, unshiny cents.

  85. Great blog! Speaking as someone who was a server for over 10 years, I gotta tell you it’s refreshing to see everything I was thinking all those years in print :) Keep up the good work!

  86. I nominated you for a bunch of awards, check it out here: http://wp.me/p20576-1b8

  87. I liked the humour you have put in telling some painful things. Great blog.

  88. Astenta permalink

    I don’t know if you’re just some one that hates his job, and can not be happy or on the right track. Or is your blog a train wreck, and I can’t stop looking.

    • D) All of the above.
      Except for the happy part. Im actually a very happy person, just as soon as I clock out from work :)

  89. Ola, I am a horrible person I nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award yesterday and am just now letting you know. I blame my children. :) Having worked in the restaurant industry as a waiter and manager I totally get and enjoy your posts. Every time I read one of your posts I can flashback to something similar when I was working.

    You can find the details here: http://muketsuhanagames.com/2012/09/14/this-isnt-multiple-choice/

    Congratulations.

  90. Hey Ross, thanks for dropping by my blog – I’m loving yours. Saying what’s on all our minds in a refreshing way that’s short and sweet! :)

  91. Wow. I just read some of your posts and I have to say… I am laughing my ass off! I worked as a server and bartender for a long time before becoming an RN and reading this brought me back. You are hilarious!!

    • Thanks so much Jenny. If you’ve worked as a server and bartender, Im sure you have some good stories too :)

  92. You have tapped a vein of pure hate and channel it into hilarity. Superb! Not only is it funny, but a good education for clueless oafs like me who might be more stupid than malevolent. I’ll try harder next time as I’d like to avoid your phlegm in my food.

  93. hahaha love your explanation! The customer is NOT always right and actually, most are not right.

  94. Being in the hospitality industry, I can say that I really can relate to your posts. Very unique and quite interesting. You were right about the phrase “The customer is always right” being coined by people who think the world revolves around them.

    I will be back for more.

  95. Although I’ve never worked in the service industry, I frequently see the kind of idiots that waiters have to deal with. Sometimes I want to go over to their table and slap them around a bit. It’s worse where I live. The ‘tip’ is automatically added to the bill as “service charge”. This usally ranges anywhere between 10% and 20%, but the waiters don’t even get it. And of course, people aren’t going to leave an extra tip for the waiter. I salute you, sir.

  96. Coming from the service industry, I wish I knew about your blog when I was a server. There are just too many people that come into restaurants and just don’t care that they are our livelihoods. It doesn’t matter how good of a server you are, you will run into those who severely undertip and make huge messes that takes time out of our day, and in this industry, time literally is money. I had a table of 6 adults that brought four babies in for brunch. When they left there were a hundred milk soaked napkins, a whole box of Cheerios, and a dozen exploded jelly cups on or under the table, plus a coffee mug filled with sugar and covered with a napkin. The table was covered in a mixture of coffee, juice, and milk, it was like a giant sticky sweet frothy slip and slide. I bit my lip and did the best job I could to serve them; they sat there for an hour after they were done and they left a whopping total of 3 dollars on a $100 bill. Not only did I make no money on that table, I also lost money because of the hour they spent there after wards. It was a four table section and I had to use my two biggest tables to seat them. In the almost 2 hours they were there, I could have served six total tables and made some money. There is definitely an etiquette when dining out and it all starts with respect.

    • Thanks for the comment. Youre right about it starting with respect. People think servers are their own personal slaves. If they had whips, I wouldnt doubt they would use them to help them get a water refill faster. I’ve had to bite my lip so many times its almost gone.

  97. Hilarious and so true! Thanks for checking out my blog!

  98. I waited tables in San Diego to get through college and have experienced many of these crazy customers and a few of my own. Your blog entries had me laughing hysterically, which is always a good thing. From a running a business (financial) perspective the customer is always right. However, from a being a rational, decent human being perspective, “the customer is often a ludicrous dipshit.”

    FYI… if I’m working my ass off to serve you a meal and you think that you being really nice to me during the service can offset your need to tip at least 15%… you’re a penny pinching cheapskate.”

  99. This is just great!
    I have a lot of reading to do.
    I’m sometimes the DB customer, but only when necessary (or so I like to believe), however, I’ve also worked as a host in NYC so I know how dealing with idiots is like.

  100. Thanks for following! :) I work in retail and I feel your pain.. we sometimes get some horrible customers.. who definitely are not right. I’ll enjoy reading your posts. :)

    • Thanks. Im glad you can identify with me. A lousy customer is a lousy customer. No matter if its in retail or restaurants. I hope you enjoy!!

  101. Both of us have BTDT in the restaurant business so now you know why we have Herb’n Renewal and we stay down on the farm! lol

  102. Hilarious. Really funny, and horribly true. And thanks for following my blog. I don’t know how you find the time

  103. Hi Ross.

    I really love this site and have recommended it to all my mates.

    It’s also given me the inspiration to resurrect an idea I had for a sript for a vignette for a stage show/pantomime. It’s a three character thing. A couple who look as if they’re on a first date, and a server in the restaurant they choose. The server has some dialogue with the couple, then they freeze where they are while the server acts as a narrator/commentator.

    Easy to stage too. Two tables, one shoved at the rear of the stage and in Stygian gloom, the other stgae front right nicely lit to suggest a table by the window.

    Oh, and a hatstand.

    Cheers. And keep visiting messingaboutinthekitchen

    My site stats are awfully bad just now

  104. liz2ay3 permalink

    Dude! You’re hilarious!!!

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